Sep 17, 2012

Because our tongue is like thatt..

Another two days before I’m going back to Numed. Can’t wait, actually. I’ve been cooped up here for far too long (almost 4 month! Imagine that) and yep, time for stress and hardship is coming now. I don’t think I can stand being here not doing anything. STUDY, RAPE ME TO THE TABLE! (gosh that came out wrong haha)
That’s the point, isn’t it? Not doing anything.
Oh and before you guys are wondering, this is one of the days that I want to write and babble in English (like I used to in my previous blogs), and don’t worry; it is not permanent. I already get used to write in Malay and I think I already got the hang of it. Besides, Mei Ling’s story need to be told and I plan to finish the story by the end of this year. Let’s hope that the story WILL even have an ending, eh?
Ok, back to the earlier point.
Now, what had happened to my summer break? Where did all the valuable time goes? Did I really gain nothing during this three-month holiday?
I don’t know. Yes, perhaps. I’m that loser.
Can’t believe it for all these long days at home I still can’t update my songlist with decent songs. My room mates gonna hate me for playing the same song over and over again. Please understand guys, not playing songs over my beloved radio is not even an option so please give up on that idea, okay? All I can promise is to turn the music on low volume.
But hey, at least I discovered ‘Monsters and men’. They are a band from Iceland. An Icelandic band – how cool is that? You should check it out.
On another unrelated topic, I think I found my choice of living. This epiphany came when I hanged out with Hariz and my girldfriend. They already finished studying and they now basically work for a living. And from what I gather, work is no walk in a park. It’s a bloody job. 9-5, no more school holidays, and no more time to relax and have fun. This got me into thinking. You see, I don’t think I can function doing nothing. I think I can fare better by being busy all day.
So the ‘choices of living’ I have in mind is basically are of two:
1. Busy-bee work – with long hours of work OR studying, fairly rigid routines, systematic and organized life in days or weeks
2. Care-free sloth – doing nothing constructively, progressively and absolutely with no stress in the world. Can be stretched into a three-month break like what I AM DOING NOW.
The thing is,
the really, really THE thing is,
When I am doing nothing for days, or weeks, my demon inside of me is taking control. There’s no distraction. There’s no preservation. All I hope to do is to go outside, because I’ve realised that by going outside my alter ego is hiding beside my not so hideous form. But when I’m in the house, with hours of rolling in bed or hands clicking the TV remote effortlessly or mouth chewing the food non-stop, I lose it. I’ll go berserk, I’ll run amok.
That, my dear, is a figure of speech. Decipher it yourself.
I need to get myself busy. I like being busy. I feel like I have a purpose in life. And that’s a good thing, because it feels like I’m doing something to achieve my dreams, even if the work is not related. And I don’t mind getting all tired. This is maybe the exercise that I really need to do.
Ah, que sera sera.

PS: It looks like I still can’t write well in English. My paragraphs are not connected smoothly and I feel like my style of writing is like being hit by a moving truck on opposing lane.
That horrible, by my standard that is. Huhu.

PPS: Try listening to ‘Mountain Sound’ by Monsters and men.
PPPS: Or not. It’s your choice.


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