Mar 2, 2017

Of much ado but said nothing

It was my intention to write something at the end of Feb as to make it looks like I am consistently blogging from time to time like what a responsible person would do. But alas, I failed to do so, leaving February, a month of great but dreadful happening, to be marked with only a single entry of how in despair I was in.

Correction, I am in.

It is such a despairing topic to talk about, much so to type it out, and very much equally loathed to read about I'm sure. Everyone hates their job, me included, but to wallow in sadness for a long time about it is emotionally draining to me. So let's talk about other aspects of my life this time, and yes, as now that my life is nothing but being a houseman, let's talk about it.

Already I have strayed so far from what I originally draft my post to be like. I have so much to tell, only to be hampered down by inconveniences of mismatched time and situation. Surely life of a houseman is more than just being depressed all the time, isn't it? But it is hard to write when you are underwhelmed or in need to cocoon yourself away tightly in your shell, away from everyone and everything.

But as every story can be easily told in a simple manner, I should strive for that. And so, let's do this in a chronological way of story-telling of how I'm trying my best to keep my shit together until now. I won't be talking about what's happening at work because I am so sick of thinking about it. Let's instead turn our heads into ways I did / still doing to keep my sanity in check.

1. Binge-eating

I'm sure I have told you guys before that for the first three months working I did not get the pay each month? I only got my first salary on Thursday in the third week of Feb, which is the accumulation of those three months. Sure, once I got it you guys must think, "Wow, that's stinking awesome! Kaya beb!" because I got the lump sum of 11.7k. But while waiting for those long three months, how did I meant to survive with no pay? Luckily I have savings, so I splurge on that meager amount with buying (a lot) food.

Even now, I am not shy to spend my money on food. I need that comfort. Stressed time calls for more food, and it's not just quantity that I go after. There is this pathological need to eat something lavish or grand, although at most all I did was to eat at fast food eateries like McDonald's or Sushi King. One time I even went to IOI Mall to try myself a plate of Tony Roma's. 

2. Watching movies

The first time I tried this method is when I failed my first year in Newcastle and having learnt that I had to repeat my year. After I got out from the Student Office building, I called my mom to tell her about my predicament. After I finished the call, I found myself walking in the city centre (I have this annoying habit of never sitting still when talking over the phone). I saw the cinema and went inside it to watch any movie that was available at that time. It was a shitty movie called Hangover 2. See, I still remember it because despite being a trashy movie, it managed to make me chuckled to myself despite me feeling the lowest of the low.

Anyway, it is still a habit I do whenever I feel my life is fast rolling down the gutter. I will periodically check for any good movie now showing and will spontaneously found myself buying the ticket for me to watch alone. It's not a really good way of comforting myself, so what I did next is much simpler.

3. I bought a Broadband line

I can't rely on my phone's data alone if I want to survive here. I do live in the hostel, after all, so the concept of WiFi has never registered in my mind in the first place. So in the first two weeks here, I surveyed all the telco plans and decided Digi Broadband offers me the most data plan per month. So I signed up for it and use the data extensively to binge watching tv shows and movies from my laptop.

Now that I'm using capped data instead of unlimited one, I don't bother downloading any tv shows. Now all I do is stream them online. I found a couple of site with English subtitles that are really good, so all is well. The only problems are to find good tv shows to get hooked on and also the agony of waiting for the next episode (or rather, the next season) to be aired. 

4. Play games

This is quite a new hobby of mine. I don't really play it for long, because I find it to be a little unhealthy for me. So I play in moderation. Playing games really do keep me entertained, so I am grateful I still have something to do other than looming about my stupid job.

5. Typing this down and post an entry about it

Woah, this is a bit meta, isn't it? After so many years of blogging, I still find it a really good hobby to invest in. Sure, I do sometimes feel disheartened when I think nobody is reading this blog because who doesn't want their words to be read, kan? That is why I really appreciate all the comments you guys wrote, even if I never reply to any of them. Sometimes all I need is to see the blog statistics and when I see that there are people (and yes, stupid bots from Russia or US included) stumbling into this blog daily, I cannot help it but to smile.

So here's the end of my entry this time. I do have other things to talk about, but they are all still half-formed in my mind. The connections are still jumbled up and disoriented I fear it will make little sense to those who are reading it, me included.

That's it for now.

For your information, the title of this post I picked is from something I've once heard or read in the past. 
It is "Of much ado about nothing", a Shakespeare play.


  1. I used to comfort myself with movies but now, I could hardly watch them since most of the time, I fall asleep so food is the alternative way for me.. hehe

  2. i actually want to be silence reader, left nothing on your site but i read that u feel disheartened, no no, keep writing because we actually read it.

    I find your blogposts are REALLY helpful for juniors.

    thanks a lot !

    1. Thank you for your kind thoughts! Don't worry, I don't think I can keep away from writing haha

  3. tq dr for taking the time to write all this. It's definitely helpful for all your juniors entering housemanship. Don't stop